How to spot a fake/scam profile on a dating site: Red flags

As a woman, I never came across a fake/scam profile on a dating site. 
Is it because men do not do that? 

"That"?! What is that? 

Do I mean fake or scam? 

I guess is both fake and scam, although it's more scam than fake. 

Right? 

Well, it depends. 

Fake is, for example, when a man pretends to be a woman or vice-versa. Or they pretend to be someone who is not... 

Hmm.... .

D'you know what? 

Many men and women pretend to be who are not on social networks, dating sites and even in real life. 

Should we call all these fake profiles? Do we? 

Isn't that more.. fiction, fictional character or, not so pretentious, persona? 

Yes. It is. 

You know it, I know it, we know it. 

Hypocrites.  

If a man wants to trick you into thinking he's a woman, I believe it's very difficult to spot that if you don't have a very good understanding of human behaviour. 

If you have a good time with them, then does it really matter if it's a woman or a man? 

If you want to meet and they refuse, why waste time? 

If they ask you for money or other favours... well, that is another thing and you should run as fast as you can. 

There are billions of people who need help and I am sure that some of those who ask for help on a dating site are who they say they are, but generally, these are scammers. 

Let's get into the scam profiles. Those profiles set up with the sole intention to extract something from a naive or gullible person. 

Usually money, of course. Financial gain. 

How difficult is to spot a fake or scam profile from the start? 

Well, some would say that is pretty easy, while others would swear the opposite. 

Who are right? 

Both. All. 

It could be easy, it could be hard, depending on the brightness of a scammer and – in equal matter  – on the gullibility of the target. 

People who get scammed are often very nice people. Good, generous, compassionate etc. I really feel for these people. They don't deserve that. 

How to spot a fake/scam profile on a dating site? 

That is not very difficult from my point of you. There are loads of red flags from the very start. 

I said it before, I have never contacted a man on a dating site.

Never started a conversation of my own initiative. 

I read profiles, as I said, and managed to understand very easily which profiles could potentially be fake, or better saying, owned by a professional (or amateur) scammer. 

Young men – jacked, fit, gorgeous – who want to meet older women (or men).  

Some of these profiles – maybe not all, but mostly – might have been set up by scammers. Money. Shelter. Free sex. Free all. 

As I don't engage in conversation with younger boys – even if contacted by them – I never experienced scamming.  

Many men's profiles contain these sort of phrases in their summaries: 

"Scammers, stay away from me. I know all your tricks. I would never send money to anyone." 

I've asked because I couldn't understand why a man would fall into a trap like that on a dating site. 

And I was told, to my surprise, that they don't know. 

Ha?! 

If you're a man or someone who was scammed or attempted to be scammed, can you think of how it all started? 

Have you contacted this person  – scammer –  or you were contacted by them? 

Who started the conversation? 

If it was you, why? 

What made you think you are a match with that person? 

Pictures? Nice? Young? Luscious? 

If it was you going for someone way out of your league, would you admit that it was your fault? 

On the other hand, if you were contacted by the scammer, what did they say to gain your attention? 

Did they compliment you? Praised you? 

If so... were these compliments based on reality or... say, deserved? 

If you were true to yourself, would you admit that the compliments were "too much"? 

Are you overestimating your appearance, skills or your... attributes? 

Flags are not all RED flags. 

I say this because my summary contains loads of so-called RED Flags. And my profile isn't fake and I am not a scammer. 

First red flag

I do not give my phone number to (almost) anyone. 

Second

I do not wish to have video calls. 

Third

I don't like chatting or IM. 

The reason for all these is so, so simple! 

I do not feel connected to the person that asks me for my phone number or a video call. 

I do not fancy them. 

I know we are not a match. 

I don't have an ideal man in my head, so to speak.  

But I know what I want and that man is not easy to find because I am also quite rare. 

Not better, just different. 

I am not going to waste my time or risk being tempested by phone calls when I am writing. 

How to avoid being scammed on a dating site? 

Do your homework. 

Read the profiles. 

Look carefully at the pictures. 

Are these people too good-looking? Are the pictures very provocative? Do they have all their physical attributes on display shamelessly? 

Do they have social networks on their profile? 

Check them. Yes, do your homework. Give something. Your time in exchange for attention. 

Isn't that fair? 

You want them with no commitment, no work from your side. 

How is not this as bad as the validation asked from women – that you so vehemently condemn? 

Are they real people? 

In that case, they are not fake profiles, are they? 

If you pay attention to who you contact and who contacts you – the way they write, what they write, but mostly what they have in their profile – I am sure that you'd spot a scammer before they asked you for money.  

I don't know how many messages, intros or SuperLikes a man gets a day, I often have 50.  

I know instantly who's a match or not. But, as I said, I am a match for 1 in a million. 

Some red flags are not red flags at all. If you pay attention and you'll know. 

If they don't want to be called during the daytime, it doesn't always mean that they are in a relationship. 

They might be at work. People work, generally. 

I, for example, used to work as a carer. I could have never had a phone call during my work hours. And my working hours were... 24. Night and day, yes. The people I provided care to were vulnerable. A call would have distressed them. 

But if I tried to explain that to someone who wanted to chat with me, they would never, ever believe me. 

It is beyond belief for many people – both men and women – that a person could work for 24 hours for extended periods of time (several consecutive months).  

LUDICROUS! Many would shout. 

These people would not take a moment to consider that some humans have an infinite sense of duty and care deeply for others. 

For them, I am a liar and they would throw rocks at me without remorse. Like they were entitled.  

If some don't want to be contacted during weekends, yes, it might mean that they are in a relationship. 

But it's not always the case. I worked 7 days out of 7. Still do. I don't even know the meaning of weekend. 

Let's face it. Many people are in relationships and still on dating sites. 

Aren't you one of them? 

Have you never done it yourself? 

I do not have the energy. Nor the time. Or the will, for that matter. 

What would the purpose be? 

What would I have to gain? 

Well, if I were a scammer, yes that would be the purpose of being in a relationship while actively looking for other people to ming with. 

If you get a message from a charlatan and you know straight away that's a con, just unmatch them. Or block them. Report them. 

This is the world we live in. 

Why get mad and suspect everyone. 

Retalation? 

Against who? People who are sincere and upfront with their conditions? 

Like me, yes. I am referring to myself, to the fact that I do not want to video call people or spoke on the phone. 

If my profile looks fake to you, or you suspect me of being a scammer, my fellow human, how little attention you've paid to what I wrote. 

You might have been tricked or scolded in the past, but didn't we all? 

Have you not learned anything? 

If for a split second you thought I was a scammer, we are not a match and I am not missing out on you. 

The world is full of people who have no faith and I do not want to be around these people. 

From where I stand, I really think it's easy to spot a fake or scam profile on a dating site. 

But I do not trust the Red flags. 

There are many plausible reasons why people don't want to give their phone numbers away, speak during the weekend or meet in the evenings. 

If you don't like the terms, why waste time speaking to that person? 

But maybe it's easier for me to spot a fake or a scam because very few tricks work on me. I do not spend a great deal of time chatting with people I do not have an affinity. 

We pretend and demand sincerity, good faith, honesty... but how many of us give these in return? 

Like for real?